Part 1
This is based on the talk “Peacemakers Needed” by Russell M. Nelson.
This was hard talk for me to write about. ‘Be a peacemaker’ was something I heard a lot as a child. It wasn’t and still isn’t a phrase that I’m fond of. It still makes me cringe when I hear it. It was generally said by my mother when there was some conflict that she wanted me to do something just to keep the peace. It didn’t matter whether I felt I should or who was right or wrong.
This is not the kind of peacemaker that President Nelson is talking about. In fact he states this clearly in his talk, “Now I am not talking about “peace at any price.” Peace at any price is what my mother thought was the answer. It is why I cringe at being told to be a peacemaker.
While President Nelson is talking about ending contention, his purpose is in being more like Christ and acting with love rather than being a doormat for people. The reason I react so strongly to being told to ‘be a peacemaker’ is because I ended up being a doormat to someone. Where my feelings, needs, and thoughts didn’t matter. Just doing what my mother wanted mattered. Consequently I have a different take than most, I feel, on what being a peacemaker means and what it does not.
The world we live in today is divided and contentious. President Nelson said, “Civility and decency seem to have disappeared during this era of polarization and passionate disagreements. Vulgarity, fault finding, and evil speaking of others are all too common. …Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions.”
We see in our lives. We see it on the news, at work, and unfortunately in our homes as well. We cannot drive contention out of everywhere but we can purge it from our own hearts. Understanding where contention comes from and what it inevitably creates helps us to purge it from our thoughts, actions, and hearts. In so doing we turn towards the
Prince of Peace himself, Jesus Christ.
President Nelson states, “As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are to be examples of how to interact with others – especially when we have differences of opinion. One of the easiest ways to identify a true follower of Jesus Christ is how compassionately that person treats other people.”
Compassion and being a peacemaker go hand in hand. They can come in many different forms, but they are always our choice to make. Giving compassion can be choosing not to engage in an argument. It can be smiling at someone in line at the grocery store. Big or small showing compassion can be life altering to the person receiving it.
In his talk “The Ministry of Reconciliation”, Elder Holland said the following’ “I the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. It is, however, important for some of you living in real anguish to note what He did not say. He did not say, “You are not allowed to feel true pain or real sorrow from the shattering experiences you have had at the hand of another.” Nor did He say, “in order to forgive fully, you have to reenter a toxic relationship or return to an abusive, destructive circumstance.”
Elder Holland was talking about forgiveness but I think the same can be applied to compassion. There have been many times in my life that because of the way I was raised I had to choose between being told to show compassion by doing something for someone that would be something that would degrade, demean, or simply go against what felt right to me at that point in time.
That is not compassion, nor is it what the Lord meant by being a peacemaker. Sometimes the person we need to be compassionate to is ourselves. The peace we feel within ourselves is important to protect and to preserve. Sometimes the best thing we can do to be compassionate, to be a peacemaker is say no. Sometimes the best thing is to walk away from the person causing such contention. Allowing them their agency to choose to do so while recognizing and respecting your own decision to choose not to engage in that and to not be a part of that. That is an act of compassion and being a peacemaker.
Elder Holland continued, “But notwithstanding even the most terrible offenses that might come to us, we can rise above our pain only when we put our feet onto the path of true healing. That path is the forgiving one walked by Jesus of Nazareth, who calls out to each of us, “Come, follow me.”
Following Christ and maintaining the companionship of the Holy Ghost is vital to our progression and growth both here in mortality and in the eternity’s. Focusing on that and doing so consistently becomes imminently harder if we are surrounded by those who choose to dwell in contention. Some we can help by reaching out, teaching, and being an example. Some will choose to change. Change is what repentance is all about. There will be others that no matter what you try to do choose to dwell in contention and darkness. We cannot change them. They can only change themselves. It is in those instances, those moments that the ability to be a compassionate peacemaker is shown by honoring their agency and walking away to be able to continue to follow Jesus Christ and maintain the companionship of the Holy Ghost. You are being compassionate to yourself, you are being your own peacemaker.
